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Sunday, 29 March 2015

eNdLeSs jOkEs

How true is this....................
When BHAKTI enters FOOD,
FOOD becomes PRASAD,
When BHAKTI enters HUNGER,
HUNGER becomes a FAST,
When BHAKTI enters WATER,
WATER becomes CHARANAMRIT,
When BHAKTI enters TRAVEL,
TRAVEL becomes a PILGRIMAGE,
When BHAKTI enters MUSIC,
MUSIC becomes KIRTAN,
When BHAKTI enters a HOUSE,
HOUSE becomes a TEMPLE,
When BHAKTI enters ACTIONS,
ACTIONS become SERVICES,
When BHAKTI enters in WORK,
WORK becomes KARMA,
AND
When BHAKTI enters a MAN,
MAN becomes HUMAN
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Please read...you all will go mad laughing wink emoticon
A person on his death bed (in Mumbai at Hospital) with Wife, Kids
and Nurse beside him.
Man to Eldest son :
You take the 15 Bungalows at Borivali.
To daughter :
You take the 8 bungalows at Juhu.
To youngest son :
You are my youngest and most dearest and I
want your future to be bright, so you keep the 20 offices at Nariman Point.
To wife :
Dear Kavita, you keep all 11 of our Lokhandwala building flats.
Nurse quite impressed - To wife :
Wow...You are lucky to have such a
husband who is so rich and giving you all the properties etc.
Wife: What properties, what rich ...
Doodhwala hai ..
he's distributing our responsibilities of delivering Milk to his clients in the morning.
hahahahahaha
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If you feel STRESSED,
Give yourself A Break.
Enjoy Some..
Icecream
Choclates
Candy
Cake
Why?
Because
STRESSED backwards spelling
DESSERTS ...enjoy
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'When people say...'You have changed now'...It just means you have stopped living life their way...but don't worry about others.
Its your LIFE, Live as you want to LIVE. Only try to Keep that person HAPPY...whom you see Everyday in the MIRROR.
Never ever think 'You r not like others'.....Make others think that..'Why They r not like you'....
Keep Smiling...ALWAYS'
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Dear Girls ,
Dieting Se Kuch Nahi Hoga Jab Tak Bhav
Khana Band Nahi Karogi colonthree emoticon
Sincerely,
Boys
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Girl: I want to breakup with you. Don't ever call me, you asshole. Fcuk off!
Boy: Arre main busy tha, new Lamborghini Aventador li hai maine!
Girl: Awwww! My Jaanu! So cute! Kab li? Kahan hai? Baby meet me na please...
Boy: Mobile pe li, NFS khelte huye unlock ki.
Girl: Behen De Takke=D =))
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Who is a true Music Lover?
A: A Girl is singing in bathroom while taking bath and a Boy near d keyhole is using his ears and not his eyes.
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I appreciate these below lines
- Don’t marry for sex.
- Don’t marry because you are of age
- Don’t marry because you are getting old
- Don’t marry because you are lonely
- Don’t marry because you need someone to support you financially
- Don’t marry because you mistakenly got pregnant
- Don’t marry because you don’t want to lose the person
- Don’t marry because of family pressures
- Don’t marry because you like the idea of marriage and admire every wedding gown you see
- Don’t marry because all your friends are getting married.
He concludes his relationship advice by saying, ‘But get married because you are in love, get married cos he or she is your best friend and when that love is no more, he or she can still make u smile…
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Daughters are like music in the house..
When she speaks,
Speaks withobut a break..
& everyone says,
"chup bhi kar jao"
When she is silent,
mother says,
"tabiyat theek hai na"
Father says,
"aaj ghar mein khamoshi kyun hai"
Bhai says,
"naraaz ho kya"
and when she is married, all says,
"aisa lagta hai is ghar ki raunak hi chali gai"
She is the real non stop music..
Dedicated to emotional, cute, pretty, sweet & sincere girls
That's Me..
That's You..
That's a Girl..
=Proud
=To
=be
=a
=Girl
kyu k sari ronaq hami se to hai!
Woman has the most unique character like salt
Her presence is never remembered...but
Her absence makes all the things tasteless !!
Pass it to your lovely sisters and friends
###############################
Petrol pump se
21 KM door
1 Fauji truck ka petrol khtm ho gya
Pathan driver ne Major SAHAB ko bataya k pump tak dhakka lgana parega
Sb nichy utry
or
Dhakka Lgana shuru kia
kafi der bad
Petrol pmp pr pohnch gaey
kuch jawan bilkul nidhal ho gaey
Kuch to behosh b ho gaey
Pathan ne petrol dalwana shuru kia
to
Major SAHAB ne kaha
k
Pichay jo drum hy
Us me b dalwa Lo
Pathan:
Sir
Wo to full hy
Emergency k liay rakha hua hy...!!!
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Too touchy,
Kamine dost..!!
1st Frnd-- Me aisa kya karu k teri shadi ke baad, Teri wife ko cinema lekar jaun or Tu naaraz bhi na ho,,,
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2nd Frnd-- Meri shaadi apni behen se karva de..
Phir tu Gale me haath dalke bhi cinema dekh, Me naaraz nahi hounga..!!
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3 chor Santa , Golu aur Pappu ...
police se bachne ke liye 3 borio me
chup
gaye.
Police wale ne pehle bori par lat
maari.
Santa bola: bow bow..
Police wala: Isme kutta hai.
Fir dusri bori par lat mari..
Golu bola: meow meow...
Policewala: Isme billi hai...
Fir teesri bori par laat maari to koi
awaaz
nahi aayi.
Toh usne do laat maari fir bhi koi
awaaz nahi
aayi
fir 20-25 laat marne ke baad Pappu
zor se
bola:
Saale haramkhor aaloo hun aaloo
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1 admi ki 6 ungliya thi sb log use
Radhe Shyam kehte the,, batao Q.??
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kyu ki Radhe shyam hi uska naam
tha,, faltu Dimag mat lagaya karo.
Jab kutte ki mout
aati hai.
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To kutta mar jata he..
Tumhe to har baat me twist chahiye.
Kutta hai koi rajnikant nahi..
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Buzurg: Beta kaise ho??
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Boy: Uncle theek hu,
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Buzurg: Padhai kaisi chal rahi hai??
Boy: Bilkul aapki zindagi ki tarah
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Buzurg: Matlab??
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Boy: Bhagwan ke bharose
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HOPE U WILL LIKE THESE JOKES......